Malingering

Here’s the thing about being unemployed, living with your parents while waiting for your divorce to go through, having all your stuff in storage, and generally having very little to do until you move to Colorado and can begin legitimately looking for gainful employment: it’s boring.

This leads to a lot of lying around, spending too much time on Reddit, listening to alllllll the podcasts, and immersing myself in heaps of both Netflix and reading. In other words, malingering.

I know there are better ways to spend my time, but there are also worse ones. Like, i know it’s not at all productive — but the fact is, I’m not lying on the floor, immobilized by the unexpected turns of events and moaning like a deeply aggrieved member of the undead, about how unfair everything is. When I malinger, I’m just…trying to make time pass a little bit faster while I wait for June, which is when I’ll permanently come to Colorado and can finally dive into rebuilding my life. I’ll also be reunited with my stuff, which means I’ll be able to do things like cook and paint (which I’m very much looking forward to, and I might be, like, on the brink of breaking into hives because I miss it so much?).

Anyways, that’s the bad part. The good part is that I’m currently in Colorado, networking like mad and trying to lay the groundwork for job hunting in June. This, happily, means that I’m not at all bored, I get to see my friends (gaaaaawd, I miss socializing!), and I have access to hiking trails (which is one of my favorite activities). I’m not excited about returning to Houston next month, but alas, that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

Anyways, that said, if any of you are among my fellow horizontally-inclined brethren (depressed? Pregnant? Chronically ill? Temporarily ill? Just super fucking tired for no readily identifiable reason?), and are in search of some quality entertainment, here are some of my current faves:

Books:

My most recent reading adventures have been focused on 1) true crime, and 2) Buddhism, because why the hell not? No one has ever accused me of being normal, so this maintains my longstanding tradition of being super weird.

Anyways, I’ll Be Gone in The Dark — Michelle McNamara’s posthumously published novel, is supposed to be incredible. It’s also supposed to be terrifying, so I figure I’ll read it now, while I’m surrounded by other people and very much not living by myself (yet). I may become physically incapable of sleep afterwards, but I feel like it may well be worth it?

I’m also enjoying the bejesus out of Tara Brach’s True Refuge and and Pema Chodron’s WhenThings Fall Apart. If you’ve ever had your life suddenly go totally sideways and have found yourself struggling to make it through, these books are invaluable. A blogging friend also recommended Storms Can’t Hurt the Sky: a Buddhist Path Through Divorce, and it’s has been a lifesaver in recent months.

I’ve been dually entertained by fiction, too, and I just finished Always by Sarah Jio. She’s one of my favorite fiction authors, and Always, which is her latest book, was fabulously fun to read (and wonderfully distracting! #winning #thankthelord #pleasedistractme).

Netflix:

Grace and Frankie 4-ever, y’all. I just love them so damn much. They also bring me hope that I, too, can bounce back from an unexpected divorce. It’s also impossible not to love the hell out of Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda. Like, really. If you don’t love them, please talk to your doctor about the possibility that you may actually be dead inside. Or a cyborg. Either way, it’s a sign that something ain’t right.

Podcasts:

I maaaaay have recently developed a habit in which I fall asleep listening to podcasts. It sounds weird, I know, but here’s why it’s great: the vast majority of my insomnia is fueled by the fact that I cannot. Make. My brain. Stop running. It just bounces along, running a million miles an hour and abjectly refusing to give in to my need for sleep. But when I listen to podcasts, my brain focuses. It stops its shenanigans, listens intently, and actually quiets down. It’s distracted. It shuts up long enough for me to actually fall asleep. Anyways, this is miraculous and revelatory.

My faves lately have been:

  • My Favorite Murder
  • Pod Save the World
  • The Global Politico
  • The Ezra Klein Show
  • Vox Worldly
  • The Science of Happiness
  • Terrible, Thanks for Asking

In other news, I’ll be in DC next week — getting my stuff out of storage, seeing my medical team, and running very, very slowly in an 8k with some of my besties. It’ll definitely help time pass a little bit faster, so hopefully I won’t spend the next two months like dear old Cookie Monster.

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